PANHANDLER MARKETING OF THE DAY

Seen on the street today: «Spare change for a penis enlargement surgery please. I'm a little short now».

«I NEVER MET AN ANIMAL I DIDN'T LIKE»

POST WARHOL PREDICTION:IN THE FUTURE A TABLOID WILL WRITE: BIN LADEN FOUND HIDDING IN TINKY WINKY PURPLE SUIT!

WE ALL LIVE IN A WARHOL WORLD

Twenty years after he (hopefully for him) turned into a big ring on Elizabeth Taylor's finger Andy Warhol influence is more enduring than ever. Sure he did predict that in the future everybody would be world famous for fifteen minutes but everything else he said about money, sex , love or fame seems to correspond to the actual zeitgeist. Would he be still among us today he would likely predict that in the future nobody will send their resume. They will send their sextape. Here's the top 10 reasons why more than ever we live in a Post-Warhol world.

THE «REAL» OBSESSION

1-«Then you meet people who live out in the country and you think, «These are the real americans». They have the weathered faces like the pictures you've seen of the pioneers and those who first settled the West. They live in frame houses in the small towns that you've imagined as the backbone of America. And they have real jobs: mechanic, country doctor, fireman, plomber. » This obsession with the real changed a lot over the years. And went in many directions. A «real woman» is now either a Florida John Wateresque older christian woman or some porn actress who still got real tits. More than ever today's triumph of the real is the triumph of amateur pornography. Sure we will always have the hunk with the real job in straight porn. And the twink will still likely remain delivery boy instead of archeology student. But thanks to technology the real guy or girl is now this 19 year old kid flexing his muscle on YOU TUBE while thousands are watching.




CELEBRITY CULTURE


2- «It used to be that when you were famous , you were famous for one thing. John F. Kennedy was president. Elvis was the King of Rock & Roll. Elizabeth Taylor was the world's greatest movie star. But now, it seems like you have to do lots of things really well, and you don't get to stay famous for long unless you're always switching».

Obvioulsy that's the lesson Paris Hilton learned perfectly: « I'm a brand , a model, an artist an actress, a designer. I write books». once said the heiress. Too bad Paris forgot mentionning her sex tape in that sentence. In the 21 century where fame is all about switching it definitely gives her an advantage. Don't we live in a truly great era? Before there was writers . Now they are people who well,.. write books. In the words of some famous gay man after he told someone he should publish a book:

- «But I have nothing to say»
-« I didn't say write a book. I said publish a book»

Today celebrity culture have morphed even more into the democratic Warholian dream. « And not only are there all these choices, but it' all democratic. You can see a billboard for Tab and think; Nancy Reagan drink Tab, GloriaVanderbilt drinks Tab, Jackie Onassis drink Tab, Katherine Hepburn drinks Tab and just think, you can drink Tab too.». Now young leggy millionaires babes in Hollywood are watching American Idol. The 300 pounds lady on welfare is watching American Idol. And you can watch American Idol too! In the getting press coverage game, Warhol used to say that people should not pay attention to what other people write about them. «They should just measure it in inches» In this new century every star or wannabe celebrity just count the number of times their name is mentionned on Google....


SEX AND THE LOVE LEAGUES


1- Warhol's comments about sex are among his best. And most laconic ones: He didn't understand white guys «with great dark cocks», thought as masturbation only as something that«helps» and saw the whole S& M scene as «entertainment sex.» But the love game also fascinated him.

«Let's say you decide you have an OK face, a great body, medium money and no power or prestige. That means you should go after other people who also have two mediums, a terrific and a nothing». That's the rule Warhol used to call the Love Leagues. Giving yourself a 2 points for great, 1 point for average and zero for nothing. For sure we got the message. So are the various celebrities.

Angelina -Jolie Bratt Pitt with an evely score for both seems secure in their relationship with four 2 points. Meanwhile the Britney- KFed marriage having not perfect matching numbers didn't worked. But what about personnality then? For Warhol that question just took too much time. «Also how comes personnality isn't included in the love league? You used to always read that the best people were those with personnality plus. I guess nowadays it takes too long to get to know someone's personnality and you have to be able to decide fast whether someone's worth your time and trouble».


PLASTIC


«I think God made plastic surgeons. God gave us this intelligent concept. Use it if you can».



Joan Rivers.


4- « I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood» used to say Warhol. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic». Today's Tinseltown is even more of a Warhol's dream come true. He used to say that what Bretcht wanted to achieve through communism was unnecessary because everybody was already thinking alike anyway. In fact not only are people still think the same way but today they increasingly look the same way as well. Look at any woman's fitness magazine cover and it looks like an advertisement for cloning. Exact same body size, same arms, same nose, same teeth... Same fucking bland aseptic look over and over.

Warhol may have like plastic but paradoxically the idea that a too narrow conception of beauty could become rapidly boring was something he was well aware of. Talking about Sweden he once remarked that after seeing beauty after beauty one was getting bored fast and that the next person following who may be not looking that perfect was sudddenly much more interesting and beautiful.

The next move is plastic surgery is sure to be quite warholian to follow. We had vaginal tightening now we got vaginal enhancement. But I mean isn't the point of having plastic surgery to flaunt it at the Oscars? Get ready for the next woman's magazine title« How to flaunt your new 18 year old pussy transplant on the Red carpet! »


ALL AMERICAN

5-«People have come up to me and said: You must be the most American artist and I've read others who think I'm Un-american. Since all of us came from somewhere else -even the Indians came over from Asia a long time ago I don't see where anybody can draw the line at being more american.» In the new century to be all american is increasingly to be an all american... porn star. And Warhol's definition of who is a true american is now the one generally accepted . I mean even Abercrombie & Fitch got the messages with its latino, asians and black all american boys and girls. Not surprisingly this new twist of ethnic pride is all over the porn industry. «Check that 18 year old Ukrainian ass» exclaim the young hunk. «Do you wanna fuck my 19 year old russian pussy? » add some chick.

It's interesting that Warhol was well aware that he was seen as both all american and un-american. But more interesting to note that he went from being the un-american sexually decadent artist harassed by the FBI in the sixties to be today the quintessential american celebrity when discussed around the world. Which should not comes as a surprise for John Waters. When he curated the exhibition at the Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh called «Warhol's Porn» Waters explained that he wanted to use the conception of pornography in a much broader sense. Basically questionning the fact that what was pornographic to one person was not to another. Waters once said that for him a picture of Hitler was pornographic. Now. The Warhol doing piss painting and body parts serie? Or the Warhol visiting the various catholic churches because...« they're the prettiest.»


MONEY

6- «Making money is art, working is art, and making good business is the best art». Warhol never hide his love of money. And when he died in 1987 his personal fortune was estimated at 600 millions. The move from Abstract Expressionism to Pop Art in the late fifties and sixties was more than just the return to figuration. It was about a radical difference in the role of the artist in the modern world. The Abstract Expresionism artists were interested in complicated theories about art. The commercial world around them was not of any particular interest. And then here comes that gay dandy commercial artist with a totally different vision. A vision which Tom Wolfe once summerized as : «Oh it's so awful I love it»

Warhol started painting money after one of his friend asked him what he liked the most. He was also an avid collector and felt that a new day meant a new opportunity to go shopping. Warhol was also very aware of the art market game. He followed the prices for his work carefully, marvelled (often with jealousy) at the prices the likes of Jasper Johns or Rauschenberg would get. Today his work is getting the higher prices at auctions right behind Picasso and the impoverished artist myth is now gone forever thanks to a bubbling art market and a multitude of HIP HOP «Papers Chasers« and other «Money Hu$tla$».

«Shopping is more american than thinking» Warhol used to say. «Keep shopping» said the president after 9/11....



BE SOMEBODY WITH A BODY




7-Warhol was a big fan of muscle culture even before it started to be popular. «Muscles are great. Everybody should have at least one they can show off» he used to say. «I work out everyday, and for a while at the beginning I tried to get definition but it didn't come off that way on me. Now I do have muscles that appears, and then it seems to go away, but it comes back again after a while».


Already in the seventies he was aware of the beginning of a new powerful trend. «So many people have such great bodies today that the sort of lumpy sit around the house flab that used to be normal now looks really bad. You can't go anyplace in American without seeing boys and girls and men and women who look like they have been professional athletes their entires lives» At the height of the seventies disco area with conterculture still running strong the exhibition Bodybuilding as Art at the Whitney Museum in 1977 was somewhat out of sync with the prevalent mood. But at the same time quintessential Warhol. No wonder that Arnold who came to represent the incarnation of muscle as the new sex in the eighties later reflected : «I became very good friends with Andy Warhol and used to hang out at the Studio in the seventies because he was a big believer in bodybuilding (and like other hip celebrities) helped get bodybuilding out of the dungeon to make it a hip activity to do».

Female american pop culture is the DOUBLE T culture. Teeth & Tits. And nothing is more american than the Before & After culture Warhol once reflected in his «Nose job» painting. Nowadays since TV got to compete with so many other electonic medias the emotional charge is increasingly the only advantage TV have left over the Internet. In the 21 first century the Warhol game has morphed into Extreme Makeover «moments» and the likes when the new woman is reunited with her family and friends: « It's amazing what happens when someone you know really gets going with their exercising. It usually happens so slowly that you don't even notice it, but after a year or so suddenly you realize that they're completely different. Where maybe they used to be sort of dumpy, now they look terrific, and they know it, and they know that you know it»


POLITICS




The Warhol lesson about politics was to let people say whatever they wanted about you. Actually Warhol is said to have been voting only once. His art was more was caused many people to debate his political affiliation or position. With some many contradictory results. I mean how do deal with someone who believe in capital punishment «for art's sake»?

Filmmaker and friend Emile de Antonio believed that his black electric chair painting was an important political statement. Warhol though those kind of comments were just funny. But at the same time when Warhol started to be friend with the Reagan De Antonio took his distance from him. Over the years Warhol went from being the so called decadent artist harrased by the FBI in the sixties to the one celebrated as the iconic american artist at the end of his life. Today that road from infamy to fame is everywhere around us. And 50 cents ex drug dealer now Madison Avenue darling with his name on various products is enjoying it to the maximum. Among Warhol's most interesting proposition was his one about prostitution. He believed that since the girl was hot and the guy asking her was not, she should be the one paying him to have sex with her. And she should have money from the government to do so.

Today there's a lot of talk about the American Dream becoming less and less accessible to many. Meanwhile Hip Hop fortunes are made like crazy before and sports stars are richer than ever. Maybe Warhol said it best years ago:

-Do you believe in the american dream?

-« No, but we can make some money out of it».


MOVIES AND TV

9-«It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and how to look how you feel about it. When they show you how to kiss like James Dean or hook like Jane Fonda or win like Rocky, that's great». Warhol was also convinced than today's stars were more glamourous than the stars of the past because you could actually meet them. These days we remember Warhol more for his Campbell soups can painting selling for millions. But it would be a mistake to forget his many past movies. Especially «Blow Job». A 41 minutes silent movie where the focus was solely on the face of a guy while he was getting a blow job. Talk about showing how to look how you feel about it!

«So now we've got all these people in their twenties and thirties with a part of them deep down inside looking for the real life they learned about on TV. They think their own childhood and their own families are failures, because they don't measure up to TV children and families. They think that they deserve to have someone fall in love with them, someone who's like the kids on commercials; handsome, rich, creative, charming always in love with you and about twenty four year old.» For Warhol to solution to this problem was to have a pet. Gee, I this why we see so many gay men with dogs like Paris Hilton's chihuahua?

WRESTLING AND THE NAME GAME


10-Warhol like many also found of pro wrestling this guilty pleasure par excellence. «It's worth watching on TV just to hear all the great names like Hulk Hogan , Gorilla Monsoon, Brutus Beefcake, Mister Wonderful, Sgt Slaughter and The Wild Samoans». Today you can still find some great marketing gimmicks in pro wrestling. And great names as well. «Wild Cat Chris Harris», «Harcore Holly» or «The Mexicools». Even better. The same way hip hop is now increasingly moving into porn great names have moved there too. Sure we still have the ethnic porn actress called Cheyenne, Mocha or Malaysia but now thanks to Hollywood we have an enless list of star and starlette inspired porn nom de scéne! From Ariella Jollee and Dru Berrymore to Mary Carey or Arnold Schwarzenpecker porn stars now fuck à la Hollywood. In the sixties Warhol's factory aspired to create a parallel route to Hollywood. A faster and ironic one. The superstars he wanted to create (term he coined) were glamourous, trashy drag queens or gorgeous poor rich girl à la Eddie Sedgwick.

Today that goal have now been achieved. Pop culture have travelled the road from Warhol sixties drag queen Holly Woodlawn to new century porn star Holly Hollywood. And the name game has extended to sex. Before there were divas à la Renata Tebaldi or Maria Callas. Nowadays we got fitness divas, wrestling divas, and even Trailer Park Sex Divas. I can hear Andy: « Gee, what is a Trailer Park Sex Diva?

POST WARHOL PREDICTION:IN THE FUTURE WOMEN MAGAZINE WILL WRITE:HOW TO MOVE YOUR LIPS LIKE BRITNEY, PARIS AND LINDSAY WHEN FAKING ORGASM!

«GEE, THAT'S GREAT!»

PHILOSOPHY BOOK FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY :THE SOCIALLY CONTAGIOUS OBESITY

Now people say that obesity is «socially contagious.» That your friendship with obese people change your perception of what is an acceptable weight. I guess that's why real hot gay men will have sex with average ones somewhere in the dark but will never accept to be seen with them in public..

POST WARHOL PREDICTION: IN THE FUTURE GOSSIP MAGAZINE WILL WRITE:SHOULD ANGELINA OFFER BRAD A THREESOME WITH JEN AS BIRTHDAY GIFT? CAST YOUR VOTE NOW!

THE HOLLYWOOD FASCINATION

POST WARHOL PREDICTION: IN THE FUTURE FASHION DESIGNER WILL CREATE SEE-THROUGH BURKINI

T-SHIRT OF THE DAY: LOVE AT FIRST BITE

«MUSCLES ARE GREAT»

POST WARHOL PREDICTION:IN THE FUTURE THE RICH-POOR DIVIDE WILL BE ABOUT LIVING FOREVER OR STILL DYING

«I NEVER MET AN ANIMAL I DIDN'T LIKE»

Photo: www.rogallery.com

LOST IN TRANSLATION

Me suis toujours demandé pourquoi le célèbre «fifteen minutes of fame» se traduisait en français par »quinze minutes de gloire..»

POST WARHOL PREDICTION:IN THE FUTURE TELEPORTATION WILL BE UPPER CLASS AND PRIVATE JETS LOWER CLASS NOT WORTHY OF ATTENTION.

THE BEAUTY OBSESSION

PHILOSOPHY BOOK FOR THE 21ST CENTURY: LIVE EARTH

Gee, those LIVE EARTH concerts around the world are really popular today. Big crowd singing and dancing in stadiums everywhere. I guess that's why they say more than 90% of global warming is caused by excessive human activity....

POST WARHOL PREDICTION:IN THE FUTURE A COSMETIC COMPANY WILL ADVERTISE:BUY THIS $10 000 SOAP AND EXTEND YOUR LIFE BY 10 YEARS!

«GEE, THAT'S GREAT!»

PHILOSOPHY BOOK FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY: US WEEKLY JULY 9 2007

I like the current issue of US weekly with their «100% Paris free» sign on the cover. Which of course is the best way to still talk about her. I would really want to see a «100% baby news free» special though. But they won't do it because they would lose about 75% of their readership.

POST WARHOL PREDICTION: IN THE FUTURE WOMAN MAGAZINE WILL WRITE: 867 BEST SHOES TO GIVE MEANING TO YOUR LIFE THIS MONTH!

«MUSCLES ARE GREAT»

PHILOSOPHY BOOK FOR THE 21 ST CENTURY: INVESTING IN ART

Some people investing in art always doing it the right way. They never buy gay art. They buy gay looking art from young artists and straight looking art from old or dead artist. I guess they know that's the real factor that will increase the respective value of both art anyway.

ANDY WARHOL & THE HOLLYWOOD FASCINATION

WHO THE F*CK IS?

I like the idea of those «who the f*ck is?» Cavalli or D&G » t-shirts. But I don't understand why they're doing it only for fashion. Now they could make so many other names and people would really don't know who they are. But I guess they don't do it because then even people who would smile at a «Who the f*ck is Noam Chomsky?» t-shirt wouldn't want to buy it anyway. I mean how do you impress your «nouveau riche» friends in Miami with that?

MODELING FOR 15 MINUTES OF FAME

Photo: modelsandimages.com