WOMEN IN REVOLT

We all know that Hollywood is run by a cabal of homosexuals (or Jews, or liberals, or something), right? Well, apparently, it's not the homosexuals that you think, because it's not gay men – but (cue threatening music, speedy close up and dramatic turn of the head) gay women.

According to the New York Times, America is happier to watch gay women than gay men, citing the inevitable example of Ellen DeGeneres, whereas the American equivalents of, say, Graham Norton are notable by their absence...."People look at gay men . . . and all they see is [anal sex]," is the rather abrupt answer. The temptation to say, "Actually, I think most Americans see someone who can teach him how to have a queer eye and choose a faaaaabulous end table for the living room," is great. But let's not interrupt."They look at Ellen and they don't know what she does with [her wife] Portia," concludes the "openly gay" Dan Savage. Well, I think we all know what Ellen and Portia do: at night they lie next to each other in tightly buttoned-up pyjamas reading books about feminism, hairily and humourlessly. I mean, what else could they do?

-The Guardian
Nov 20 2009