“IT'S CALLED GOSSIP AND OF COURSE IT'S AN OBSESSION OF MINE” -ANDY WARHOL

One has to ask: who do Elton John and his husband David Furnish think they are, mooching about 'saving' people? It's as if they've become the Jehovah's Witnesses of celebrity sobriety, with everyone scared to open the door to them in case they get a fat lecture and a 12-step pamphlet. Imagine how a decadent celebrity's heart might plummet when they see that pair coming round the corner with their Holland & Barrett bags of multivitamins. They probably hide behind the sofa, thinking: 'I've spent all my money on drugs, my career is over, my nose has gone all Danielle Westbrook, but I really must have hit rock bottom if Elton and David want to help.'Elton is not the only one. Most famously, Madonna has been much given in recent years to opining that daughter Lourdes will not be watching TV, eating ice cream or dating boys before the age of 18. Such moral rigidity, from a woman who once simulated masturbation onstage as a choreographed part of her act and cavorted with her front botty hanging out in the hilarious, much underrated book, Sex.

-The Observer
Sept 7 2008